The weekend consisted mainly of consuming a lot of different alcohol, losing things (including our dignity) and having a bloody merry old time. A weekend of epic proportions.
The Norton Family
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Friday: A night in Loughborough
The journey up north in Bianca’s tiny KA was somewhat of an experience. We filled the non-existent boot to the brim, laid duvets and pillows on the seats, and stuffed food and drink into every crevice in the car.
After reminding Jack that he actually had to shut and lock his own house up before we left, and doing a million point turn in Matt’s driveway, we were on our way.
I had brought some old CDs with me as we didn’t have an iPod dock or anything fancy like that. The combination of Five Greatest Hits, The Pepsi Chart Show and Now 54 really made us want to party, and party hard we did all the way up to Loughborough.
Army time
We stopped off at some random but pretty country pub to wee and buy chocolate, but as they only sold Mars bars, I was forced into buying peanuts out of embarrassment.
We hit some traffic when we were close to Luffbra, which meant it took us about 4 hours in total to get there. We did learn that Jack used to eat so many apples that he thought he’d turn into an apple though.
We also decided we would reintroduce the word ‘funky’ into people’s vocabulary.
Ryan’s House and the Union
After we had found Ryan’s house and carried out some excellent parking, we ate some delicious spag bol which Ryan the lion had very kindly made for everyone. The house itself was a pleasant surprise too; none of us expected him to live in such a clean and tidy place (no offence Schlank).
When we had finished getting all dressed and painted up as army people, the drinking started. We had one bucket which was filled with a lot of wine, cranberry juice and Archers. Apparently Nineham smashed up half of Tesco whilst buying the booze, she was being too rowdy again.
There was a fair few of us drinking in his sitting room as his housemates were coming out too. They were nothing like I expected after meeting his housemates last year, very different but all lovely, even though they like to have the music up so loud the house shakes. As I was celebrating turning the grand old age of 22, I am too old for a ‘racket’ like that so turned it down sneakily.
Find the gun...
Walked to the Union where we continued to drink many a beverage. How many beverages exactly I could not tell you. The weird thing about their Union was that it was freezing! The place was massive though and a lot like a maze, I didn’t know where I was at any given point in the night.
A lot of dancing was had by all, the Baking Tray and Lunge moves were pulled many many times. I’m just too good a dancer for my own good some times. A couple people pulled, a few arguments were had, but mainly we all just had a banging night (no pun intended).
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Saturday: Moving to Nottingham
Woke up on Saturday morning to be sharing a bed with the beautiful Nineham, and in a room which was hotter than the sun!I did not feel too special that’s for sure. The heat was making me feel more and more sick, so I had to go and hang out in the hallway for a while cooling down.
Spaghetti Cake
After, we all just sat around not doing much for a while, then they started singing Happy Birthday and brought in a chocolate cake with uncooked spaghetti in it (instead of candles). I loved it!
Obviously I was in no state to be eating chocolate cake so had to just hold on to it until later.
People got showered and packed and ready to go to Nottingham. It wouldn’t surprise me if there was a video or two of the girls showering somewhere on the internet. Pervy boys.
Jack and Matt had to go home, so just the famous five were left.
We could only fit us three girls in the car so Ryan and Sam had to get the train. They missed out on helping teach Bie all the ingredients of the Sandwiches and Burgers that Giraffe do. I have to say I wasn’t too impressed with their list of burgers, they should take some tips from Handmade Burger, delicious.
Anyway, we were all starving so went to a pub called the Gooseberry Bush. Why it has such a silly name I do not know. Whilst we were waiting for the boys to arrive, we shared a large plate of nachos because we’re all impatient fattys.
Serious army men
The food was pretty good but the service was shockingly poor. We actually thought the waitress was going to tip the gravy over Ninehams head at one point. Luckily she didn’t, although it would have been hilarious to watch (sorry Nines).
Drove to Sam’s house but we had to park up the street because apparently there’s a crazy family living opposite who might take the car tyres…welcome to Nottingham.
The house was more like a student house than Ryan’s, but still a very good place to stay in. I am sad we never got to make it onto the wall of shame with our photograph, but I’m sure we’ll pay another visit at some point and get up there.
Spreading the love
By this point we were all pretty hanging so watched gymnastics on TV for what seemed like hours. We learnt scoring 15 was good. We also Googled what the difference between white and brown vinegar is, it was extremely interesting.
Heading to Town
Getting ready to go out seemed to take an awful lot of energy, but when we were done we started on the vodka again. Well Bie had gin because she’s secretly a middle aged man.
Ryan turned hipster for the night and wore one of Sam’s t-shirts, he even rolled up the sleeves for a bit! Pre-drinking consisted mainly of us talking about tickle buttons, PBWs, poking and anything else rude and silly. My favourite story of the weekend however was Nineham’s tale about a bag of poo (you’ll have to ask her for the details). Hilarious!
Firstly we went to some bar called Coocoocachoo or something like that. Sam advised us to get the super strength cocktails, so of course we did. I felt like I was drinking a tall glass of tequila! We moved onto some other place called BRZ? where you can get triples for singles. I think this was the turning point of my drunkenness.
We met my friend Rachel from uni and her friend in there, I was so excited to see her I think I hugged her about 5 times. We danced and drunk some more, some people then went to Walkabout.
When we got back to Sam’s all I remember doing is eating a hell of a lot of pizza with Nineham and getting into bed with Rachel. The rest of the night is one big blur I’m afraid.
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Super strength cocktails
Sunday: The Return Home
In the morning I remembered I had lost my heels (I took flats out too) and that I was told by the taxi man to ring back at 6am to see if they’d been handed in. We then discovered that someone had carried my shoes home for me and that it was most likely Ryan who carried them.
What makes this funny is that Ryan was the one helping me look for them the night before, all the time probably carrying them in his hands, but with neither of us noticing. Alcohol is a crazy thing.
We had to leave at 12 because stupid Bie said she’d work at 5 o’clock, and didn’t know how long it would take to get back. So we missed out on the monging out in front of TV for hours and stuffing our faces at a pub somewhere which was sad, but couldn’t be helped.
Pretty Ladies
The drive home was somewhat of a challenge. I didn’t want to open my mouth in case I accidently vommed everywhere, and Bie couldn’t speak because she had to concentrate so much on not hitting another car.
So we travelled in silence for a good half an hour until we both felt better. You’ll be pleased to know the make-do sick bucket (empty Quaver packet) was not needed, and we did not hit another car, person or animal. Winning.
It was another awesome weekend away with the Norton family, it was a shame not everybody could make it but it was still epic! So thanks for a banging birthday weekend!
